Rest Stop (Mother’s Day) … love

mom, mother, peace, zen, serenity, love, life, inspiration

“Let us love one another, for love comes from God.  Everyone who loves has been born of God and knows God.  No one has ever seen God; but if we love one another, God lives in us and His love is made complete in us.”  1 John 4: 7; 12

Today, in the United States, we celebrate and remember our mothers on this their special day!  What is it about mothers which causes us to feel such a fondness for them?  For me, in my life’s journey and reflection, there is no truer description of a mother other than the word “love”.  Love, felt in its deepest sense, is expressed by a person (mom) just because we exist.  The love of a mother has nothing to do with who I am or what I give in return.  No, the love of a mother, whether she bore you or not, is freely given simply because you exist.  In this unconditional love is where we find motherhood as a reflection of the Divine, of God.  Total and complete love, not requiring anything else.

Several years ago, Robert Fulghum wrote a book entitled “All I Really Need to Know I Learned in Kindergarten“.  I would like to share it now as a tribute to Mothers and all they teach us.  I know this wasn’t Fulghum’s intent, but his reflection speaks perfectly to the lessons taught us by the women who very deeply cared for and about us.

 

All I really need to know about how to live and what to do and how to be I learned in kindergarten. Wisdom was not at the top of the of the graduate-school mountain, but there in the sandpile at Sunday School. These are the things I learned:

 

Share everything. Play fair. Don’t hit people. Put things back where you found them. Clean up your own mess. Don’t take things that aren’t yours. Say you’re sorry when you hurt somebody. Wash your hands before you eat. Flush. Warm cookies and cold milk are good for you. Live a balanced life — learn some and think some and draw and paint and sing and dance and play and work every day some. Take a nap every afternoon. When you go out into the world, watch out for traffic, hold hands, and stick together.

 

BE AWARE OF WONDER. Remember the little seed in the styrofoam cup: the roots go down and the plant goes up and nobody really knows how or why, but we are all like that. Goldfish and hamsters and white mice and even the little seed in the styrofoam cup — they all die. So do we. And then remember the Dick-and-Jane books and the first word you learned – the biggest word of all — LOOK.

 

Everything you need to know is in there somewhere. The Golden Rule and love and basic sanitation. Ecology and politics and equality and sane living. Take any one of those items and extrapolate it into sophisticated adult terms and apply it to your family life or your work or your government or your world and it holds true and clear and firm.

 

Think what a better world it would be if we all — the whole world — had cookies and milk about three o’clock every afternoon and then lay down with our blankies for a nap. Or if all governments had as a basic policy to always put things back where they found them and to clean up their own mess.

 

And it is still true, no matter how old you are — when you go out into the world, it is best to hold hands and stick together.

 

As we remember and celebrate Mothers on this day, how best can we honor the person who has given us the greatest gift of all: unconditional love!

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Rest Stop (Friday) … Earth Day

earth, perspective, peace, serenity, hope

planet Earth from space (credit: unknown)

Today is the annual celebration of Earth Day! It is a day for us to recall the natural gifts we have been given which nourish and sustain us. Whenever I see a picture of our planet, like the one here, I am astounded to realize that we are but travelers through a vast universe! I know that sounds cheesy, but think about it; we are on a ball which is moving quickly on a path it has travelled for millions of years. We are truly passengers on a vessel, and this vessel has all the equipment necessary for our survival. We need to properly care for the earth so that we, and future generations, may not only survive but also be able to enjoy the beauty of nature all around us.

St. Francis of Assisi, the patron saint of ecology, wrote this “Canticle of the Creatures”. I urge all of us to spend some time meditating on what we can do to sustain our planet.

“All praise be yours, My Lord, through all that you have made. And first my lord Brother Sun, who brings the day….

How beautiful is he, how radiant in all his splendor! Of you, Most High, he bears the likeness.

All praise be yours, my Lord, through Sister Moon and Stars; In the heavens you have made them, bright and precious and fair.

All praise be yours, my Lord, through Brothers Wind and Air….

All praise be yours, my Lord, through Sister Water, So useful, lowly, precious and pure.

All praise be yours, my Lord, through Brother Fire, through whom you brighten up the night….

All praise be yours, my Lord, through Sister Earth, our mother, Who feeds us…and produces various fruits With colored flowers and herbs….

Praise and bless my Lord, and give him thanks, And serve him with great humility.”

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Rest Stop (Easter) … is this real?

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He is risen! He is not in the tomb! Can this be true? Could Jesus rise from the dead!? This morning is the beginning of a new chapter for the apostles and for those who put faith in the person of Jesus.  The person whom they thought was dead is no longer in the tomb! What does this all mean?!

Can you even imagine the feelings of the apostles?  Just a week ago the twelve apostles, with Jesus, triumphantly entered Jerusalem.  All was right with the world!  What could go wrong?  Then, on Thursday, one of their own, Judas, hands Jesus over to the Romans who then kill him the next day!  But just a few days ago, scared and confused, the apostles are in hiding.  What do we do when we are scared?  Can you understand why the apostles fled and hid?  I’m not trying to justify their actions, but trying to understand them.

Sunday morning, while the apostles are in hiding, some of the women followers excitedly enter their hiding spot screaming that the body of Jesus is missing from the tomb!  Wait, that’s not all; they saw an angel who told them Jesus was alive!  What?!

In a matter of days the apostles go from excitement to fear, to despair, to questioning their beliefs, to confusion to cautious optimism.  Wow! Later, when Jesus appears to the apostles He does not reprimand them; rather, His first words are “Peace”.

What does this mean for us?  In times of our lack of faith, when we feel shame about how we treat Jesus, we need to know that He is always there to welcome us back with a word; “peace”.  We no longer need to hide in fear.  We need to do what the apostles did; they left their hiding place and preached the risen Jesus to the world!  Nothing short of a resurrection, with proof, could have taken away their fear. The apostles, without fear, now publicly preached that Jesus was the son of God risen from the dead.  And for me, the only explanation for their new-found courage; they actually saw the risen Jesus.

Not too long ago the singing group “Fun” released their song “Carry On“.  The song is one of perseverance, and while not written as a religious song, I feel it very well grasps the emotions of the apostles as they came to grips of what the Resurrection meant for them.  Here is the final verse and chorus of the song:

Hold the phone Show me how No one’s ever gonna stop us now

Cause we are We are shining stars We are invincible We are who we are On our darkest day When we’re miles away So we’ll come We will find our way home

If you’re lost and alone Or you’re sinking like a stone Carry on May your past be the sound Of your feet upon the ground Carry on

Easter, in it’s spiritual sense, is not meant to be celebrated on one day, but to be lived every day!  The sense of hope, forgiveness and new life are to be proclaimed and lived daily!  No matter what life brings us, we are now meant to “carry on” knowing and feeling the excitement of the risen Jesus!

In our lives, what can we do to feel this excitement?  How do we learn to “carry on”?  Focus your attention and mind on the present moment; live the moment.  The apostles felt their feelings in the moment, not knowing what was to come next.  Live your moments; embrace them, feel them, experience them.  Do the next right thing and then live that next moment.  Before you know it, you will “find your way home” and “carry on.”

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Rest Stop (Holy Saturday) … grief, hope, faith

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Holy Saturday, the day after the death of Jesus, Christians await, in hope and in faith, for God to show us a sign that Jesus is truly His son. When we think of the emotions of the followers of Jesus, so sure that He was the savior, to experience His death, their heartbreak and confusion must’ve been unbearable! Were they duped? How were they so wrong to think that Jesus was God? Yet, because of everything that they experienced while with Jesus, there still exists a sense of hope in their hearts. They don’t yet understand, and they are questioning, but they haven’t yet fully rejected the belief that Jesus is the son of God.

Taken from the Christian prayer-book “The Liturgy of the Hours”, here is an ancient sermon attributed to Easter yet prayed on Holy Saturday.  What does this sermon says to you in your life’s journey:

“Something strange is happening – there is a great silence on earth today, a great silence and stillness. The whole earth keeps silence because the King is asleep. The earth trembled and is still because God has fallen asleep in the flesh and he has raised up all who have slept ever since the world began. God has died in the flesh and hell trembles with fear. He has gone to search for our first parent, as for a lost sheep. Greatly desiring to visit those who live in darkness and in the shadow of death, he has gone to free from sorrow the captives Adam and Eve, he who is both God and the son of Eve. The Lord approached them bearing the cross, the weapon that had won him the victory. At the sight of him Adam, the first man he had created, struck his breast in terror and cried out to everyone: “My Lord be with you all.” Christ answered him: “And with your spirit.” He took him by the hand and raised him up, saying: “Awake, O sleeper, and rise from the dead, and Christ will give you light.” I am your God, who for your sake have become your son. Out of love for you and for your descendants I now by my own authority command all who are held in bondage to come forth, all who are in darkness to be enlightened, all who are sleeping to arise. I order you, O sleeper, to awake. I did not create you to be held a prisoner in hell. Rise from the dead, for I am the life of the dead. Rise up, work of my hands, you who were created in my image. Rise, let us leave this place, for you are in me and I am in you; together we form only one person and we cannot be separated. For your sake I, your God, became your son; I, the Lord, took the form of a slave; I, whose home is above the heavens, descended to the earth and beneath the earth. For your sake, for the sake of man, I became like a man without help, free among the dead. For the sake of you, who left a garden, I was betrayed to the Jews in a garden, and I was crucified in a garden. See on my face the spittle I received in order to restore to you the life I once breathed into you. See there the marks of the blows I received in order to refashion your warped nature in my image. On my back see the marks of the scourging I endured to remove the burden of sin that weighs upon your back. See my hands, nailed firmly to a tree, for you who once wickedly stretched out your hand to a tree. I slept on the cross and a sword pierced my side for you who slept in paradise and brought forth Eve from your side. My side has healed the pain in yours. My sleep will rouse you from your sleep in hell. The sword that pierced me has sheathed the sword that was turned against you. Rise, let us leave this place. The enemy led you out of the earthly paradise. I will not restore you to that paradise, but I will enthrone you in heaven. I forbade you the tree that was only a symbol of life, but see, I who am life itself am now one with you. I appointed cherubim to guard you as slaves are guarded, but now I make them worship you as God. The throne formed by cherubim awaits you, its bearers swift and eager. The bridal chamber is adorned, the banquet is ready, the eternal dwelling places are prepared, the treasure houses of all good things lie open. The kingdom of heaven has been prepared for you from all eternity.”

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Rest Stop (Good Friday) … love

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Love; the complete and selfless giving for another; a desire to allow the other to shine and to grow.  On this day, Good Friday, Christians recall Jesus, who out of love, willingly gave Himself to suffer and to die so that we may shine and grow.  Jesus, the night before, agonized and prayed over this decision of suffering and dying, hoping for another way to carry out our salvation. But in the end, in response to the message Jesus hears in prayer, He says “not my will, but Your will be done.” In trust, faith and love Jesus freely suffers and dies for us.

How do we express love for others?  Do we, in faith, trust enough to share our love?  When we are suffering and find life difficult, in faith do we turn to Jesus who not only suffered, but who also found life’s situations difficult to endure?

Today, in faith and trust, knowing that Jesus understands what it’s like to make difficult decisions, to suffer, to feel physical and emotional pain, and to love, do we turn to Him in prayer and ask for guidance, for strength, for hope, for peace, for …..

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Rest Stop (Holy Thursday) … forgiveness from betrayal

Da Vinci, last supper, Jesus, Judas, passover, serenity

The Last Supper by Da Vinci

As I mentioned in my earlier post, Holy Week is a spiritual time for me filled with much emotion. The apostles who followed Jesus gave up their livelihood and families to follow a person whom they hoped was their longed-for messiah; the savior of the Jewish people.  After spending much time with Jesus, the apostles experience the awesome high of walking into Jerusalem with the crowds praising the man they are following.  Imagine how they felt, knowing that they are with an important person, and they are one of only 12 selected personally by Him!  Think of how this would make you feel.  But then come the events at the end of the week that will change their lives forever.

The night of Passover, as Jesus dines for the last time with his apostles, we learn that one of the selected twelve, Judas, will betray and hand over Jesus to the authorities, and Peter will deny, not once but three times, that he knows Jesus.  The rest of the apostles, the closest friends of Jesus, flee and hide.  Think about this … one of Jesus’ closest companions turns Him over to be arrested; His selected leader, Peter, will deny ever knowing Him; the rest of the friends run away; at a time when Jesus needed His friends’ support the most!

Historically, around the year 33AD, the Roman Empire ruled the known Western world including Jerusalem and the Jewish people.  Over time, as the apostles slowly come to an understanding of Jesus as the Son of God, they long for the day that He will save them from the Romans.  This was part of the reason for Judas’ betrayal, to force Jesus’ hand into fighting the Romans to whom he turned over Jesus.  Neither Peter nor Judas understood that Jesus was a Savior of souls, not a conqueror of the Romans.  The freedom Jesus brings is an inner freedom, not a physical freedom.  Therefore, when Jesus is arrested and neither He nor the angels come to save Him, the apostles become scared and confused.

Put in the historical context it is a bit easier to understand why Peter, although not fleeing the scene like the rest, denies knowing Jesus.  It is not necessarily to betray his friend, but out of a sense of fear and confusion.  Peter doesn’t want to be arrested, too.  Peter is scared and confused.

forgiven, life, perspective, Jesus, Passover, Holy Thursday, Easter, hope

Jumping ahead in the story, after the resurrection of Jesus, He finds Peter to reconcile with him.  He allows Peter the opportunity of forgiveness, but not just a simple “I’m sorry”, but a deeper reconciliation based on love and compassion.  Jesus approaches Peter not to reproach him for his denial, but to simply ask Peter if he loves Him.  Peter responds with “yes, you know that I love you.”  Can you imagine the emotions Peter is experiencing?

Personally, a song from the early 1990’s by the rock band Savatage seems to sum up the emotional exchange of Jesus and Peter during their reconciliation.  The song, “Believe”, was  not written for this purpose, but it speaks to me in a way of framing the depth of the emotions felt by Peter and Jesus as Peter is asked if he loves Jesus.  This is the verse from the song which I attribute to Peter’s words to Jesus.  As you read the verse, place yourself in the scene of Peter, confused and afraid, ashamed and embarrassed, standing before the risen Jesus:

“I never wanted to know; Never wanted to see; I wasted my time Till Time wasted me.  I never wanted to go; I always wanted to stay; ‘Cause the person I am are the parts that I play. So I plot and I plan and I hope and I scheme to the lure of a night filled with unfinished dreams.  And I’m holding on tight To a world gone astray; As they charge me for years I can no longer pay.”

The refrain of the song, which I attribute to Jesus responding to Peter, is both powerful and comforting:

“I am the way I am the light I am the dark Inside the night I hear your hopes I feel your dreams And in the dark I hear your screams. Don’t turn away Just take my hand And when you make your final stand I’ll be right there I’ll never leave And all I ask of you… Believe…”

On this Holy Thursday, let’s reflect on:

  • Trust.  How can I trust even when I don’t fully know the person or the situation?  What can I do to get a better understanding when events happen of which I am unfamiliar?
  • Forgiveness.  Holding onto resentments and anger led both Peter and Judas to depression and despair.  How can I learn to forgive others, and truly move on.  How can I learn to forgive myself?
  • Love.  How can I truly love another even when they disappoint me?  How can I try to more fully understand their context and what is happening in their life.  Can I embrace them as Jesus embraced Peter?

Life is not easy; but by placing ourselves into the drama of the apostles and Jesus during this critical week in their lives can give us guidance and teach us lessons.

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Rest Stop (Sunday) … coping with the time change

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Last night, many of us in the United States turned the hands of time ahead one hour as we are entering the period identified as Daylight Savings Time.  Our ability to change time prompts a few questions for me, some mundane and some a bit more philosophical.  But, to stay grounded I will refrain, for this post, from discussing the abstract philosophical notions of time.  Rather, I would like to reflect on this day in two specific ways, namely, how do we take advantage of our “extra hour” of daylight, and, what does time mean in our own lives.

I am certain many of us have had life experiences for which we have wished we could either turn back time or move time forward to change particular life events.  There are times that we wish we could have back to cherish again, to say something different, do something different, or to have never had happen in the first place.  But, regardless of our ability to change clocks, we do not yet have the ability to go back in time.  Therefore we struggle with our personal feelings of resentment, disappointment, anger, sorrow, etc.

But, all is not lost.  Even though we cannot go back in time to change the event, we still can change our current feelings about the event.  In our reflection about past events, what can we learn from them?  What steps can we take to avoid a future repeat?  Do we have the opportunity to “make peace” with those from our past?  If so, do it now.  We aren’t able to change the event from the past, but we can change our response and thoughts now, in the present moment.  We do not live in the past nor should we dwell there. But the past provides us tools for us to learn and to grow in the present moment. Wisely use the tools your past provides you. What you do today becomes your past tomorrow.

So, what do I do with the time I have been given? Here are some of my thoughts:

  • Sleep.  Rest is vital for a healthy mind, soul and body.
  • Spend an hour in reflection on your past to use as a guide as you plan your future.
  • Use the time for reflective journaling.
  • Write to a friend or family member whom you have not recently contacted.
  • Do something you typically don’t have time to do, like taking a walk, observing nature, reading a book.
  • Spend quality time with the people closest to you.

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Rest Stop (Leap Day) … 5 tips to make it unique

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Today is a day which only comes around every 4 years! Today, “Leap Day”, exists to correct the scientific calculations of our current western calendar. But, I’m not writing about the scientific reasons for this day. Instead, I imagine great possibilities that this extra day provides us.

I tend to look at this day as a gift given us to be used wisely. I figure that a day which only comes around every 4 years deserves to be treated in a unique and special way. This day is not like any other day, although I fear most people don’t recognize the uniqueness of this day. Why is it that a day which happens only once every 4 years becomes overlooked by most of the population? Personally, I don’t have an answer to that question. But the answer is not as important if we now come to the realization that we have been given a unique gift in this day.

So, we need to celebrate this day in a special way! This is extra time given to us in our very busy lives. What shall we do with this gift?

  1. My first suggestion is to acknowledge the specialness of this day, understanding that today is a gift given to you.
  2. Make a list of the top five things for which you are grateful. Set aside a specified time today to acknowledge your gratitude.
  3. What one thing do you typically not have time to do? Write down the time that you will do that one thing today. If your one thing cannot be accomplished today, then begin to work on preparations to make that one thing happen soon. Use today as your extra time for those preparations.
  4. If you don’t regularly meditate,  set aside a time today for at least 10 minutes of quiet meditation. If you are unsure how to meditate, either do an internet search, or check out my website which has suggestions.
  5. Do something special for yourself which you normally either would not do, or do not typically have the time to do.

If you happen to see and read this post too late in the day, or not even on the day, don’t fret. These suggestions work on any day as long as you have the motivation and the desire to make them happen. Please share with us what you were able to do, or if you had any difficulties in making this day special. We will learn from each other.

Happy Leap Day!

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Rest Stop (Thursday) … mindfulness meditation works

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As many of us spend much of our time rushing around, we don’t seem to have the time for meditation. I often write and speak about the importance of daily meditation, understanding that there are more of us who want to meditate than actually do meditate. Good intentions; I know, I’ve been there.

One of the rationales I hear from busy people is “I would take time to meditate if I knew it would help me, but it’s just a fad, right?” If your definition of a “fad” allows for the practice of meditation lasting thousands of years, than yeah, it’s a fad. I believe that our culture sees meditation as a “fad” because it is “new” to our culture, and the practice of meditating has been relegated to the “new age” genre. As such, some don’t feel the desire to try something that will “eventually go out of style”.

But what if mindfulness meditation were scientifically, and medically, shown to be healing and transformative? A few months ago I shared with you a study from Harvard which demonstrated that meditation generated new grey matter in the brain. Well, we now have the results of a study done at Carnegie Mellon University which “for the first time shows that, unlike a placebo, it [mindfulness meditation] can change the brains of ordinary people and potentially improve their health.” This is what the authors of the study wrote:

“These findings provide the first evidence that mindfulness meditation training functionally couples the DMN with a region known to be important in top-down executive control at rest (left dlPFC), which, in turn, is associated with improvements in a marker of inflammatory disease risk.” –Biological Psychiatry Journal

Click here for the link to the New York Times article summarizing the study

Click here for the link to the actual research article

Please share with us your thoughts on this topic, and if you practice meditation, do you find positive health results?

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Rest Stop (Valentine’s Day) … love is an action

heart, cloud, valentines day, love, hope, peace, serenity

“Darkness cannot drive out darkness: only light can do that.

Hate cannot drive out hate: only love can do that.”

-Dr. Martin Luther King, Jr

Heart Cloud (credit: unknown)

Today, as many of us celebrate Valentine’s Day, our thoughts turn to love and those whom we love. But do we really understand what that simple, yet very powerful word, LOVE, means? This four letter word holds power, and not just power over our emotions, but also power over the prospect of world peace.

So what does this word mean? Personally, this is a tough word for me to reflect on since my natural inclination is more toward the intellectual pursuits not understanding my emotions. Yes, as a counselor I deal with emotions, but note what I wrote: “my” emotions. I have no issue in helping others to come to an understanding of their own emotions and how they affect their lives. But my emotions, well, that’s a whole different story.

So, what is love? This is what the Christian bible states about love:

1If I speak with the tongues of men and of angels, but do not have love, I have become a noisy gong or a clanging cymbal. 2If I have the gift of prophecy, and know all mysteries and all knowledge; and if I have all faith, so as to remove mountains, but do not have love, I am nothing. 3And if I give all my possessions to feed the poor, and if I surrender my body to be burned, but do not have love, it profits me nothing.
4Love is patient, love is kind and is not jealous; love does not brag and is not arrogant, 5does not act unbecomingly; it does not seek its own, is not provoked, does not take into account a wrong suffered, 6does not rejoice in unrighteousness, but rejoices with the truth;7bears all things, believes all things, hopes all things, endures all things.
8Love never fails; but if there are gifts of prophecy, they will be done away; if there are tongues, they will cease; if there is knowledge, it will be done away.9For we know in part and we prophesy in part; 10but when the perfect comes, the partial will be done away. 11When I was a child, I used to speak like a child, think like a child, reason like a child; when I became a man, I did away with childish things. 12For now we see in a mirror dimly, but then face to face; now I know in part, but then I will know fully just as I also have been fully known. 13But now faith, hope, love, abide these three; but the greatest of these is love.

In my reflections and meditations on love, I keep coming to the notion that love is an action. Even though love is an emotion, it is an emotion which demands an action. Many of our emotions can be kept to ourselves to experience, but love is an emotion that demands us to take action.

 

How do you experience love?

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