Tips For Positive Living When I Feel Stuck In Life

Spring

Do you feel it? There is a change in the air. The sun is a bit brighter and warmer, the air is losing its crispness, and the flowers are beginning to bloom! Where I live I know that Spring is coming by the position of the sun at sunset while I hear the cries of the returning osprey to their nest. When I feel stuck in life I reflect on the example of Spring and the newness it brings.

Have you ever reflected on what the earliest humans felt and thought as they observed their environment? Did they feel they were living a rewarding life? I can only imagine the confusion and fear of that first autumn and winter as our ancestors wondered, probably in fear, why the trees were dying, why the crops stopped growing and the green plants turned brown. Where and why did the animals go, and why have the birds flown away? I would imagine their feelings turning to despair as time moved on and the weather worsened with cold, snow and darkness. I would imagine that our ancestors felt stuck in life with these unknown changes occurring. I feel stuck in life just imagining what they were feeling. If you didn’t know that spring and summer were returning, what would you be thinking, feeling and doing? Imagine our ancestors’ feelings when the climate began to change as spring neared. The animals returning, birds arriving in the skies, trees coming back to life! Can you imagine?! Our ancestors must have been in awe, wonder, surprise, gratitude …. All is once again well with the world, and with them. It’s as if nature took a little baby step to make big changes. Over time they would learn to read nature’s signs and adjust their lives accordingly, but imagine what that learning process was like.The joys in the revelations and new-found knowledge must have been incredible! Truly they were living a rewarding life!

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How are you affected by the arrival of spring? Do you sense the newness? When I feel stuck in life I think of what I can do to make the most of spring. What is it that I can learn from Spring? As was true for our ancestors, spring is a time for us to be filled with awe and wonder at new possibilities. Regardless of what has happened in our lives, as nature is re-born, we too are re-born since we have opportunities to do things differently; to change. But how can I change? I take a little baby step when I feel stuck in life.

Most of us know what it’s like to feel stuck in life. One of the reasons why we feel stuck is because of our own thinking. We convince ourselves that we are stuck. A counselor whom I have known now for many years, Terrance Gorski, wrote this quote: “I am capable of thinking …yet I am not my thoughts; I am the thinker of my thoughts; therefore I can change what I feel and still be me.” In other words, since I am the one who thinks and creates my thoughts, it is in my power and capacity to change my thoughts. In so doing I change the way I feel. This in no way changes the events we live through, but if I can change how I think, and also feel, about the life event, than it no longer controls me; I empower myself by controlling me.

Just as spring brings newness from the dead of winter, changing our thoughts has the power to bring newness to our lives. As an aid to finding a rewarding life, here are some of my little baby steps:

  1. Spend ten minutes in quiet thinking about those areas in your life you want to change.  Make a list.
  2. On your list write down your thoughts/feelings about those areas of your life.
  3. What is the new thought you need to have to make the necessary changes? Ask someone for help in doing this.
  4. Practice daily, hourly, or by the minute if necessary, thinking your new thoughts.

Focusing on the power that we have within ourselves allows us to change our thoughts, feelings, and therefore perspective on ourselves as well as on the world around us. When I feel stuck in life, I imitate the newness of spring and create a newness of beauty and a rewarding life within myself.

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autumn: learning from change

fall, autumn, life, journey, reflect, meditate, season, spirituality, God, Christ, Jesus, wonder, why, ponder, stress, anxiety

Fall scene in MA (credit: Blog author)

Way back in the 1980’s I took this photo while I lived in a small town in western Massachusetts.  Most people I know tend to get excited, perk up, prepare for, and are encouraged as Spring moves into Summer.  Not that I don’t like Summer, but for me, I do the same preparations for the beginning of Autumn.  I must say, Autumn is by far my most favorite season (with Winter a close second).  And now here we are, the first day of Autumn (officially starting at 10:21 am EDT)!

As far back as I can remember I have enjoyed Autumn.  Growing up in the northern reaches of the US I am used to the colder seasons, probably part of the reason for my enjoyment of Autumn.  Of all the seasons I find this one to be especially focused on family and God.  During this season there are holidays, gatherings and the beginning of school.  Halloween and Thanksgiving are near with Christmas not too far away.  The cooler weather draws us closer together as we huddle indoors, and as we do so I hope we recognize the presence of God in our lives and those of our loved-ones.

For many, this is a season of desolation with the greenery dying off and the days shorter.  But, as we look around we can see much color, hear the sounds of the leaves beneath our feet, and smell the cornucopia of scents invading our nostrils.  This may be a time of decay, but in the transition of the season we are given a most wonderful and beautiful gift; the gift of change.  It is, hopefully, a gift to inspire us.  For me, I see beauty before I see the decay and desolation.  There is also a beauty in the recognition that after this time of desolation will come another season of rebirth and new growth.  This season is not the end, but only the beginning.  This season represents change, and in the process of change we feel the pain before the joy.  We may now be experiencing a decay and desolation, but it is all a part of the circle of life, for the trees will reproduce their leaves and the fallen leaves will provide fertilizer enabling the new growth of plants in the Spring.  This is a season of preparation, yet in this time of preparation there is also its own beauty.

Change is never easy, and as I have blogged about in the past (click here to find previous posts) it is necessary to remember that change, although different, doesn’t have to be negative.  The process may be painful, but if we focus on the result we see that for which we long.  As we see the leaves fall we are assured there will be Spring followed by Summer.  The cycle of life; mirroring the cycles of our lives.

Here are a few suggestions I have come up with to help in this time of transition:

  • Recall the memories of this past Summer.  Cherish your experiences from the past season.
  • Acknowledge, don’t try to hide, the past with its pleasures, hurts, and expectations.
  • Spend a few moments in quiet prayer being thankful for all we have and asking for guidance and strength to make it through this new season.
  • Anticipate the future in this new season.  Prepare for what you can control; plan for what you can’t (see previous blog posts on this topic).
  • Experience this season of Autumn through the eyes of a child – you will be surprised at the insights.

In all things, try to cherish the moment at hand.

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